Four months!

Little Scarlett is four months old today!  As I type this I can hear her protesting her nap..... and now it's quiet.... a couple peeps... still fighting it... louder again... It's always a tough call - do I leave her in there?  Do I pick her up?  I'm started to get the hang of it, starting to recognize the sounds.  And I'm trusting myself more.  Yes, she is tired and she needs to go to sleep.  Or, no, it sounds like she isn't tired after all.  But now.... quiet.  She's asleep.  

I will never get tired of strangers telling me how cute Scarlett is.  A lot of people comment on how blue her eyes are.  The other day a woman in Trader Joe's saw that her hands were clasped together and said that she looked like the baby Jesus.  I'm not kidding.  Apparently little baby Jesus prayed a lot?  But the comment I get most often is about my sling.  People think it's the coolest thing and ask me where I got it (for the record, it's a New Native sling and I got it at Whole Foods).  The same thing happens when Brandon wears Scarlett in his sling.  I guess it's just not that common, but I can't imagine what I'd do without it.  Scarlett does best when she's in motion so the sling tends to lull her to sleep.  And it frees up my arms so I can get things done.  The downside is that Scarlett is getting heavier, which makes it more uncomfortable for us to carry her.   I'm crossing my fingers that she grows out of this stage soon so I can start pushing her in a stroller.  She's a sensitive booger, no doubt about it.  Two errands is her limit and when she's tired you know it.  But she is just so unbelievably sweet and adorable and perfect and we apologize for kissing her so much, but it's kind of her own fault for being so dang cute.

And you...

So, I did it.  I changed the blog address.  It wasn't easy, a lot of the names I wanted were already taken by people who haven't posted in seven years, no joke.  But I think the title I chose is very accurate.  This blog is mostly about Scarlett, but it's about me, too.  And you - my husband, my mom, my friends, my cats...  

I'm going to be tweaking the look of the blog in the next few weeks, so be prepared for some exciting changes!  Not really.  I'll probably just change the background color.  But I also may change the font, so watch out!

Winter fashions

It's going to be c-c-cold in Missouri, so we bought a couple of hats to keep the boohead's noggin warm.  I like to dress her up.  Sometimes she likes it...

And sometimes she doesn't...

A slight change in venue

I am going to change my blog address - the url, if you will.  Readers, I will need all of your email addresses so I can let you know what the new blog address is.  If you know me, email me at my gmail address or email Brandy.  If I don't know you, post a comment with your email address.  I'll give everyone a week to get back to me and then it's go time, people!

Sleepy kitties

Chico has very discerning taste when it comes to where he sleeps... well, where he sleeps when he's inside.  I've found him laying in gravel and piles of dead bamboo outside.  When he's in the house Chico has higher standards - it needs to be soft and cozy and always elevated.  Since we don't allow him on our bed anymore (he has fleas), he's had to find other places to rest his weary head.  Knowing his love for the softer things in life, I guess it's not surprising that I've found him curled up in Scarlett's crib, changing table and bouncy seat.  Those are big no-nos, so strategically placed pieces of foil have stopped him from returning.  Chico seems resigned to sleep on the couch, but he's no fool.  When I accidently left my Boppy out he took the first opportunity to climb in...

Rocky, on the other hand, will sleep pretty much anywhere.  Here he is taking a nap on a kitchen towel that fell on the floor...

Kimberley MOOOOONEEEEEY!

Brandon, Scarlett and I had lunch with our good friend, Kimberley, today.  We love Kimberley and were so excited for her to meet Scarlett.  Kimberley works at Disney, but we all met when we worked on "My Life as a Teenage Robot" at Nickelodeon a few years ago.  She and I clicked pretty immediately.  I think it all began when she asked if I would be interested in throwing a cubicle warming party with her.  Would I!  We talked about a doing a Laverne and Shirley theme, but instead we made everyone on the crew draw pictures of us that we judged.  There were so many fantastic drawings and we were so happy that people actually put the effort into it that we gave awards like "Most Inspirational" and "Best Frame".  Throughout the season we planned a field day, Christmas cookie bake off and a 'How Well do You Know Your Coworker?' party.  We also decorated tissues boxes, impersonated Oprah Winfrey, critiqued the finer points of Love Connection and pushed each other around in office chairs.  Oh, and we worked.  

  

Somebody got new boots...

We're spending this Christmas with Brandon's family in Missouri, so my mom bought Scarlett a pair of boots to keep her footsies warm.  This confused the boohead.  Not sure why.  They fit perfectly!

Splish Splash!

My girl loves taking a bath.  It doesn't matter how tired or fussy she is, as soon as she's in the tub she is relaxed and happy.  Taking a bath is part of Scarlett's nighttime routine that starts at around 7pm every night.  It goes like this: bath, massage, pajamas, swaddle, nurse, lullaby, bed.  She seems to like it and it helps us, too.  Who doesn't like a little structure, right?  Brandon and I call everything after the bath "post-bath".  Usually one of us bathes Scarlett while the other preps the post-bath and then both of us get her ready for bed.  Scarlett is so sweet and talkative after her bath that it's sad to have to say good night!  Scarlett and I also have a routine in the morning after Brandon goes to work - nurse, diaper change, put on clothes for the day, watch mommy eat cereal, read a book.  By then she's already sleepy and is ready for a nap.  She'll take at least two more naps throughout the day.  After 4:00 it's tough to get her to fall asleep even though she's exhausted, which is hard on both of us.  Good thing Brandon will be home soon and then it's bath time again.  Splish splash!

Thank you, Gigi!

If you see my mom in the next few hours, please tell her not to go home.  She came out to LA last week and we love having her here and we don't want her to leave!  She is so good to us.  She cooked the Thanksgiving turkey, folded laundry, cleaned the kitchen, went grocery shopping, bought Scarlett adorable clothes, helped me pick out fabric for the diaper bag she's making me... The list goes on and on, but the best thing she did for us was insist that she babysit so Brandon and I could go out on a date, something we haven't been able to do since Scarlett was born.  Actually, she made us go out on two dates - we went to the movies one night and then out to dinner the next.  It was fun to get out and we felt good that Scarlett was in the safe and loving hands of her Gigi.  And loving arms they certainly are!  I'm not sure Scarlett could be loved more.  My mom loves holding her and kissing her and talking to her - not surprising as Scarlett is extremely snuggly and kissable and chatty! No joke, the girl exudes pure sweetness.  Anyway, I am so incredibly grateful for my mom and everything she does for us.  She goes above and beyond.  

Ronin and Scarlett with their Gigi

Three months!

Little Scarlett boohead is three months old today!  She's such a big girl!  Well, she's not actually that big physically, but she sure has impacted our lives in a huge way.  She gets cuter and sweeter and more delicious every day.  She loves it when we read her stories and she is starting to grab her toys.  I bought her an organic stuffed toy the shape of a green bean, but she prefers the polyester orange and pink monkey that came with her activity mat.  Maybe because it looks so real...  She started to suck on her left fist a couple weeks ago and now she goes at it like it's nobody's business.  She still loves to talk and is making all sorts of interesting new sounds.  She is sleeping a lot at night and her naps are getting better and better.  We are so proud of our little one.  

We took some pictures to commemorate this special day...

Cheese!  Okay, photo session over, Mommy and Daddy.

I'm serious.  Stop taking pictures.

I said no more!

Fine.  You do your thing.  I'm just going to suck on my fist.

You're still here?

Pffft!

Bubbles

A couple weeks ago I noticed some bubbles had formed on Scarlett's mouth. I thought that her baby drool was just kind bubbling on its own, but now I know better - Scarlett is making the bubbles! I think it's pretty funny, but as you can see in the photo, Scarlett is very serious about her craft. As soon as I wipe her mouth, she gets busy making more bubbles. And even though I'm not a big fan of nicknames, especially for Scarlett, we can't help but call her Bubbles when she displays this interesting, new and wet talent.

Thieves

You may or may not have heard that Adam Sandler's wife had a baby girl this past Sunday. Clearly they read my blog and that's why they chose to name her Sunny.  Rude.

Zzzzzzz? Sometimes.

There's no way around it - we are obsessed with Scarlett's sleep habits.  We have two types of days around here: on a good day Scarlett goes down for her naps easily and sleeps for over an hour at a time.  On these days I feel good, hopeful, productive, triumphant!  On a not-so-good day I'm in the bedroom most of the day trying to get her to stop crying so she can relax and go to sleep.  Some days I'm so desperate for her to nap that I let her sleep on me for as long as she needs, sometimes for a couple hours at a time.  I watch a lot of muted television.  It's funny how you really don't need the sound when there's closed captioning.  Especially for shows on HGTV.  Anyway, on those not-so-good days I feel frustrated and discouraged and lonely.  Thankfully, we're having a lot of good days lately.  Scarlett seems to be chilling out a bit.  She's crying less and falling asleep much quicker.  She's still a championship nighttime sleeper.  Since we started our nighttime routine (bath, massage, pajamas, swaddle, nurse) she sleeps for a good seven straight hours and just last night she slept for eight.  She woke up, I fed her and she slept for three more.  And THEN she took a two and a half hour nap.  Scarlett is such a happy baby when she's well rested.  She smiles at us when we pick her up out of her crib and she has lots of energy to coo and "talk" to us.  She is such a talker.  I'm not sure where she gets it from.  Weird.

Scarlett got her first pair of jeans recently and we celebrated with a trip to Target.  I'm not kidding.  Well, I am about the celebrating.  We did actually go to Target, though.    

Babies for Obama!!!

My aunt Mimi made this adorable onesie for Scarlett and we were so excited for her to wear it on voting day.  The future of this country is so much more important to us now that we have a daughter and we couldn't be happier about our new president!  And don't worry, we know the law - Scarlett and her onesie hid in the sling while I voted.

Walk in the Park

Joanna, one of my friends from high school, was in town this week so Scarlett and I met her at Griffith Park for a walk. I wanted Joanna to see the Old Zoo area in the park where the Los Angeles Zoo used to be. Some of the cages are still there and it's interesting (and sad) to see how confined the animals were. There was a shoot going on at the entrance, some sort of cop show I think. They asked us to wait until they were between takes before we walked pass them. As we did we heard "Action baby carriage!" Heh. Scarlett was tired and cranky, but she calmed down once we started walking. She started getting fussy when we stopped to take a break halfway up a steep incline so we kept moving. Joanna said she was like our coach pushing us to keep going. She could get paid good money for that.

Two months

Our sweet Scarlett boohead turned two months old yesterday, so to celebrate we brought her to the pediatrician for some shots.  Poor little bugger.  She was such a good girl, especially for being hungry and tired.  The doctor was really happy with her height and weight - 10 pounds, one and a half ounces and 22 1/2" long (I'm guessing that the ruler at the hospital was off, seeing that nine weeks ago she was 22" and two weeks later she was measured at 20").  The doctor was also happy with her development.   She's right on target - tracking with her eyes and smiling and cooing.  I love talking to her and getting her to talk back.  She looks into my eyes and makes the sweetest little sounds.  She is quite the talker and I love seeing her so happy.  She has the most adorable gigantic grin and just today I spotted a dimple!  Just like her daddy.  

Pacified

The Happiest Baby on the Block recommends sucking as a way to help calm a crying baby. Unfortunately for us, Scarlett has never been a fan of pacifiers.  She will suck on my little finger until it's pruned, but will very dramatically spit out any pacifier that's put into her mouth.  That is, until I found the Soothie.  The Soothie's nipple is shaped more like a bottle nipple.  And it has no taste.  I've tried them all and the others taste like rubber.  Scarlett still prefers sucking on a finger or an actual nipple, but she'll take the Soothie for a little while which gives me a bit of a break.  Sometimes she sucks so hard and I know she's waiting for milk to come out.  Too bad I'm not the Electric Grandmother.  That would be cool.

Blarg

Here's the thing - I never know what my day will be like.  Sometimes it's good and sometimes... not so much.  Scarlett's nap schedule and moods are so incredibly unpredictable that I can't plan anything, even a silly blog entry (I've written and rewritten this posting nine times in the last four days).  Some days she'll fall asleep fairly easily and stay asleep for a couple hours - sometimes twice a day.  On those days Scarlett is in a great mood and so am I.  I can get a lot done and feel rested.  But most days she takes two or three 30-45 minute naps and is pretty much cranky from morning to night.  Yesterday was one of those days.  Scarlett fussed and cried and would not go to sleep.  At around 3:00 I couldn't take it anymore.  I put her in her crib and as she cried I got dressed.  Then I picked her up, soothed her and put her down so I could wash my face and brush my teeth.  All the while she's wailing.  It was brutal.  Thankfully my amazing and supportive husband came home so I could be alone for a little while.  I was drained.  I felt empty inside.

She finally fell asleep for the night at around 11:30 and didn't wake up again until 5am this morning.  I want to be excited about that.  I want to think it's progress (it happened two nights earlier, too), but I can't.  I want to think it's promising that she fell asleep this morning without much crying, but I can't.  I've been let down too many times.  Maybe it's my fault.  Maybe I don't know what the hell I'm doing.  Maybe it's Scarlett.  Maybe she's over stimulated and can't calm herself down.  Whatever the reason, I'm still determined to figure this all out.  

Oh, and I promise these posts will be more uplifting soon.  I do realize I've been a downer lately.  Such is life.

Whoops...progress

I accidently deleted this post...

I've been thinking: I've been kind of hard on myself.  I have a lot to learn, but for a new mom I'm not so bad.  It actually surprises me sometimes how well I've acclimated to my life as a mom of a newborn.  Just today I took little Scarlett out to meet a friend (the lovely J.A.) for lunch.  It was the first time we did something like that just the two of us and it couldn't have gone better.  It never occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to pull it off on my own.  Yes, she wailed in the car on the way home because she was hungry, but we made it back safe and sound and now she's down for the count.  

I'm proud of the steps I've taken to improve Scarlett's sleeping.  I've been logging her naps, awake times and feeding times to see if a pattern emerges.  That's still to be determined, but for now it's a great tool to keep track of her day.  We've come a long way in just a few days.  She's sleeping a lot more and going down for her naps a lot easier.  I'm learning about the different sounds she makes, too.  Boy is she a talker!  She has a whole repertoire of sounds she makes when she's in her crib falling asleep and a separate set for when she's about to start crying for someone to pick her up.  I'm not going to lie - things are getting better, but it's still tough sometimes.  She had a heck of a time falling asleep yesterday afternoon and it got to the point where I thought we were going to be up all night.  And then she fell asleep and stayed asleep for three hours and we had a typical uneventful night.  Phew.

Learning Curve

I have no idea what I'm doing.  For years people have been telling me how good I am with kids.  They're right - I am.  I'm comfortable around kids and I like to think that they're comfortable around me.  I treat kids with respect.  I think they are extremely interesting, fun, funny and real.  But just because I like kids doesn't mean I know how to raise one.  I have no idea how to raise a child.  I just found out yesterday that Scarlett isn't getting nearly enough sleep as she should be.  I'm embarrassed for not knowing this.  Why does it seem like every other mother in the world knows what they're doing and I don't?  Am I the only new mother who feels lost and alone most of the time?  

I'm convinced that my darling daughter has been miserable for days - weeks, even - because she's so overtired.  Yesterday was a disaster.  She was up for six hours.  She cried, I cried, it was awful.  I attempted to let her cry it out a bit, but after five minutes I thought I was going to vomit.  No more of that.  Last night I spoke to two moms who I trust - my sister-in-law, Jen, and my dear friend Emily - who gave me some great advice.  I also read The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer.  Today I put what I learned into action with promising results.  I'm going to keep working at it.  I know things will get better.  It's a learning curve.  I hope.

Let sleeping babies lie...

Last night was probably our roughest yet.  Scarlett started fussing at around 8pm and didn't actually fall asleep and stay asleep until around 1am.  We rocked and walked and swaddled and shushed, but nothing would soothe her for very long.  The night before she went down without too much fanfare and slept for a record-breaking four straight hours, so at least there's some relief.  And she was a really good napper today.  I experimented a bit and didn't move her to her crib from the bed where I was nursing her.  I made sure she was safe by barricading her with pillows and she slept for three hours - twice!  Who knows if this will work tomorrow, but I'm happy today.

Eyeballs

Like every other mom on the planet, I'm anxious to see what color eyes Scarlett will have. I have brown eyes, but since my dad had beautiful blue eyes and Brandon does, too, there is a fifty percent chance that Scarlett will have blue eyes. Look at me - I paid attention in science class!

Right now Scarlett's eyes are very blue, but I've heard that most newborns start off having blue eyes, so we'll see.

Working hard with Daddy...

Brandon is set up to work from home now and it's wonderful. He stayed home last Friday and it was great having him around. The past couple weeks have been kind of rough. We were so worried about Scarlett's inconsolable crying that we took her to the pediatrician. He said that it's not colic or reflux, she's just high on the fussy scale. Thankfully she'll grow out of it and it's not all the time. She's been an angel all day today, which has provided some much needed respite for me. Ah, respite over. I hear a baby in the distance...

Rockin' the Moby Wrap

Five weeks and a list

Scarlett turns five weeks old today! As this milestone neared, I got to thinking about what baby gear we use and wouldn't want to live without. Although items such as the lovely crib we bought will come in handy soon, for now Scarlett is sleeping in a Pack N Play in our room. And although disposable nursing pads may be popular with many moms, I prefer the washable kind. Shall I go on?

Graco Pack N Play
As mentioned above, the Pack N Play is in our bedroom and it's where currently Scarlett sleeps at night. It has a changing table attached to it and little compartments we use for diapers, hand sanitizer and pacifiers. It's looks good, too. We got the 'Graham' color from BabyCenter. My aunt Kiki gave it to us - thanks Keek!

Boppy
I don't need to sing the praises of the Boppy because it seems that every mom I know has used one. But I will. I have the Boppy with the super soft pink fleecy cover. It's wonderful for breast feeding. The end.

SwaddleMe from Kiddopotamus
For the first few days after we brought Scarlett home Brandon and I swaddled her in receiving blankets. It worked for a while and then our sweet little girl turned into Houdini. I swear she could break out of a straight jacket. Thankfully we started using the SwaddleMe and it works great ... most of the time. Scarlett does get a hand free once in a while, after all she is a professional magician. The SwaddleMe also helps Scarlett relax. She's an active baby and her hands and legs are going all the time, so the SwaddleMe helps her calm down a lot. We also tried the Miracle Blanket, but it didn't work as well and it's complicated.

The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp
Speaking of swaddling, I think this book is essential for every new parent. It suggests using some basic techniques to calm a newborn baby. So far Scarlett is easily soothed by the swaddling, shushing, rocking and sucking the author writes about. I like that it doesn't bully parents into using the method like other baby books do. Those books scare me. Our pediatrician recently recommended the DVD, which we bought but haven't watched yet. According to him, it's much better than the book.

Fisher Price Cradle Swing
Scarlett has fallen asleep a few times in this swing and stayed asleep for a couple hours. She loves the rocking motion. It's good for us because we can only rock for so long before we start to get dizzy.

Glider
Speaking of rocking, we purchased a glider/rocker from Babies R Us before Scarlett was born. I felt like kind of a sucker for buying it because I didn't know if we would really use it, but it's proven to be a very smart purchase. I bet I'm in that thing at least a half a dozen times a day. It's so great to feed Scarlett in and then rock her to sleep. Although it couldn't pass as a regular chair like those thousand dollar modern gliders, it's soft and cozy and we love it.

New Native Sling
We were handed down a New Native sling from my brother Dan and his wife Deb. It's more of a pouch than a sling, but the company calls it a sling so I will, too. Unfortunately, it was too small for Brandon and too big for me, but we loved the idea of it so much that I bought a larger size for Brandon. He loves it and Scarlett does, too. We have a different sling with rings that we bought a while ago, but it's so hard to figure out and there is just so much fabric. The New Native sling is good because it just goes over your head and it's ready for baby insertion.

Viva Paper Towels
Little babies have delicate skin, so or the first month we were told not to use wipes on Scarlett. Her pediatrician suggested using Viva paper towels and they've worked great. They're super thick, durable and soft. We cut them into squares (four per piece), wet them and stored them in a plastic container near the Pack 'N Play.

Munchkin disposable multiuse pads
We put these handy things on the Pack N Play changing table because you never know when a certain someone will decide to pee or poop while her diaper is being changed.

Medela Pump In Style
Once a day I pump so that Brandon can take a night feeding. I tried using a hand pump, but that thing took forever. Thankfully, my sister-in-law Jen gave me her Medela Pump In Style breast pump which was given to her by our sister-in-law Deb (the thing has seen a lot of boobs). It's easy to set up and gets the job done fast. It's annoying that I can't use my hands for the whole time I'm pumping, but I just put a movie on and plop myself down on the couch and it's not so bad.

Fisher Price Monitor
I wasn't sure we would need a monitor because Scarlett sleeps in our room at night, but during the day when she's napping it's nice to be able to leave the room. I'm sure there are a lot of good monitors out there, but we like this one because it has red lights that light up when there's a noise. The louder the noise the more lights illuminate so we can tell if she's talking in her sleep or crying out because she's waking up.

Gerber Organic Cotton Diapers
We use these to wipe drool, spit up and the occasional booger. They're super soft and absorbent. Much better than the burp rags.

Nightgowns
I thought that putting Scarlett into a nightgown before bed would be the beginnings of establishing a nighttime routine. Little did we know that it would also make our nighttime diaper changes easier and faster - no more snaps! We used to put Scarlett in a onesie at night, not realizing how hard it is to snap and unsnap in the dim light of the bedroom. Live and learn!


So, that's it for now. Brandon just commented yesterday on the wonders of the Diaper Genie, so I'm sure we'll discover more things we wouldn't want to live without very soon. Stay tuned!

Chico refuses to not be the baby anymore...

Like mother, like daughter?

What is this sleep you speak of?

Scarlett, like many rock stars, is not down with the whole sleeping at night thing. She seems to think that nighttime starts at 3:00am. That's when she goes down easily and sleeps for three to four hour stretches. This lasts most of the day until about 10:00pm at which time Brandon and I would like to turn in for the night. Fat chance. Between about 10:00pm and 3:00am she's up to eat every two to three hours. Scarlett has also decided that at this time she does not want to sleep in her crib. She would much rather sleep on Mommy or Daddy. Sweet, but not so fun in the wee hours. I nap when she does in the morning, but it doesn't seem to make me less sleep deprived. My mom read to me from my baby book today, which said that at three weeks I was sleeping for five hour stretches and at five weeks I was sleeping for seven hours. So, I've been thinking - were babies sleepier in the 70's? Or is Scarlett a really a rock star?

3 weeks

Our good friends Eric and Michelle came by yesterday to meet Scarlett. They brought a cake for her three week birthday, just the nicest thing. And it was delicious! Thanks Eric and Michelle!

I have issues

I don't know how women who are recovering from c-sections dress themselves. Nothing fits. Nothing looks good. I am too small for my old maternity clothes and too big for my pre-pregnancy clothes. Even if I could squeeze myself into my pre-pregnancy shorts or pants I wouldn't be able to wear them because they hit right at my incision. Shirts are a challenge because I need to wear ones big enough so I can breast feed, but they tend to be so big that they look like I just crawled out of bed. I also don't wear pants too often when I'm at home, so I'm sure that doesn't help.

Every time I need to leave the house my self-esteem suffers as I look for something to wear. I always leave in a huff and take out my anger on my sweet, confused husband. I'm not sure when this is going to get better. Hopefully my incision will heal up soon and the weight will continue to come off. For now I think I'll just stay indoors as much as possible. Excellent.

2 Weeks

I can't believe it's been two weeks! Funny, it feels like Scarlett has been with us forever and it feels like time has flown by. I can't imagine life without Scarlett. What did I do with myself? Was I bored? Can it be that we've been home from the hospital for less than two weeks? It feels like ages ago that I was being wheeled into the operating room. I can't believe my mom has been here for almost two weeks and is leaving us on Wednesday. A harsh dose of reality is in our future. I don't even want to think about it!

Scarlett had her two week appointment with the pediatrician yesterday. She gained seven ounces in a week making her seven pounds, 5 ounces. Hurray for breast milk! She seems to have her days and nights confused, but the pediatrician said it's pretty common with newborns (supposedly if we were to move to Hong Kong she would be all good). He suggested that we try waking her to feed her every two hours during the day so she would be less hungry at night. We did it yesterday and it actually worked pretty well - she was up only three times to eat last night as opposed to five times the night before. I really don't mind getting up and feeding her, but I know things will change when Brandon has to go back to work. Thank goodness that doesn't happen for another two weeks. I love having him home. I love my new family. Love, love, love.

One week later

It's amazing - she's only been here one week, but already I can't imagine life without Scarlett. I am head over heels in love with my daughter. I look at her and cry. Maybe it's the hormones or maybe it's pure joy. Probably both.

We are living one day at a time here. I'm feeling better every day. The incision is still sore, but it's healing up real nice. My hormones are out of whack, which isn't fun, but I know it's normal. My mom is staying with us and has been a huge help. It's such a luxury to be able to focus on getting better and taking care of Scarlett. Speaking of my pride and joy, Scarlett is amazing. She's eating and sleeping and pooping and peeing and occasionally opening her eyes. Every day her awake time is longer and longer. She's so fun to talk to and just stare at.

More later. Right now a certain body part is telling me it's time to feed the little one...

Scarlett Ann

My prize was born on August 22, at 3:09 pm. She weighed 7 lbs. 1 oz., and measured 22 inches long. She is healthy and happy and the cutest thing I've ever seen. 

This is it

Today is the day!  We leave for the hospital in one hour.  I slept just fine last night and am so prepared this morning that I have time to blog!  It doesn't seem real, but I'm sure it will as soon as we step through the hospital doors.  Everyone I've talked to has said that c-sections are the way to go, but I'm still really nervous.  I could feel my body going into anxiety attack mode while I was getting my amnio yesterday.  Another minute and I'm sure my hands would've started getting numb,  I would feel faint and have to vomit.  Anxiety is a beautiful thing.  As much as I try to stay calm, my body has a mind of its own.  Or is it that my mind has a mind of its own?  Anyway, I'm hoping that I'll be so excited about meeting Sunny that I won't care about what's going on to my body.  

My thoughts this morning?  I just can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm going to be a mom in a few hours.  It just doesn't seem possible.  And I'm so freaking thirsty.  Never mind that I was told not to eat anything past midnight last night, I was also told not to drink anything and it's making me a little crazy.  Actually makes me look forward to the I.V. and catheter.  Oh, there - you see?  I'm already feeling better about the needles.  Wait, no.  Still nervous.  

Okay, I guess I should go get ready.  Next time I blog, I'll have a daughter!

Excite!

This photo says it all - I'm excited!  First a MacBook (complements of Gigi) and then a delivery date!  I had the amnio this morning at 8:00 and then at 4:30 we finally got the results.  Little Sunny - at seven pounds already - is good to go!  The c-section will take place at 2:30 in the afternoon.  Please keep us in your prayers.

Updates soon!

By the way, no I'm not wearing underpants.  Get over it.  I'm pregnant.

I concede.

I get kind of defensive when I think about the "nesting" phenomenon that people claim pregnant women experience when they get close to their due date.  No, no, no I want to say to them.  I'm not nesting, I'm preparing.  I want everything to be ready for Sunny when she comes home - a place to sleep, clothes to wear, diapers to poop in.  I also want our home to be clean and organized so Brandon and I can focus our energies on being good parents.

And then today it hit me while I was mopping the floors and scrubbing the bathtub two hours after the cleaning lady left: I am nesting. 

Life is never boring

I had something unexpected happen to me last week - I was laid off from my job.  They are doing some intense "restructuring" and my entire department was "eliminated."  Damn executives.  Thankfully I left before I was laid off so I will still receive disability and Paid Family Leave.  I'm still pretty bitter about it, though.  I feel deceived and unappreciated.  I admit that I was unsure how I would feel about leaving Sunny in three months to go back to work, but I really loved my job and I didn't look at my last day there before my maternity leave as the last day I would ever work there again.  Or set foot in there again.  I can't see myself ever going back.  On a positive note, I did make some good friends there and I learned a lot about publicity and public relations thanks to my awesome boss.  Every job I get seems to be better than the one before it so I'm kind of excited to see what happens next.

Until then I think I'll have a baby.

One more week

It's pretty unbelievable that if all goes as planned Sunny will be here one week from today. Well, she actually won't be Sunny anymore. She'll be... oh, right - I'm not telling! It's Brandon and my only secret. You all know it's a girl and when she's coming, so this will be a gift to you. A surprise! I mean come on, who doesn't like surprises?

I got thinking last night and although I am anxiously looking forward to not being pregnant anymore, there are things about being pregnant that I will miss. I will definitely miss the feeling of Sunny kicking and moving around inside me. I love feeling her little bony foot pressing against my belly. And I love when Brandon reaches over and feels it and gets excited and starts talking to her through my belly button. The special treatment I get from friends and strangers is nice. Being pregnant serves as kind of an ongoing social experiment: some people go out of their way to be nice to me like the guy at the cafe yesterday who actually offered to help me out of my seat. And some people act no different like the waitress who snapped at me for attempting to sit down at a dirty table. Now I know to be extra nice to every pregnant woman I encounter in the future. I'll also make sure to tell a pregnant woman how cute she looks. That always feels nice. Also, as far as strangers go, being pregnant is also a good conversation starter. I had a long conversation with a Trader Joe's cashier about Leos yesterday. Supposedly they are energetic, flirty and demanding of attention - really? Or are we talking about you, Mr. Chatty? I will also miss being able to eat whatever I want, within reason of course. I have never gone overboard, but I certainly don't feel guilty about eating like I used to. And it's so nice to have gained 30 pounds and not feel the need to hide it.

You know what I won't miss? The feeling that there's a giant exercise ball tightly strapped to my waist. It's so hard to find a good sleeping position and then I'm up every two hours at night to pee, stretch my back and change the side I'm laying on. At this point it's even hard to find a good sitting position and leaning over is close to impossible. I won't miss that I get winded after walking for twenty feet or talking for more than three minutes. And I definitely won't miss the various unmentionable ailments that commonly occur with pregnant women. I won't miss those most of all.

Without a doubt this pregnancy has been a rewarding and memorable experience that I wouldn't trade for the world. It is a privilege to be pregnant with my child. Corny, but true. And next week it will be a privilege to take my daughter home with me and love her and soothe her and put her in cute outfits.

Breastfeeding 101

Last night we took a breastfeeding class at the hospital. The instructor was super nice and very informative. I think we retained a fair amount of what she was teaching us, but mostly we learned that we have a lot to learn. Thank goodness for the nurses and lactation specialists at the hospital. While we're there we get one free consultation from a specialist and we have the option to pay a small fee if we want to see her again. The nurses, of course, are there to help the whole time. If anything, knowing the basics will make us that much more confident for when we have to do it for real...in ten days. Oh, don't even get me started.

We got a funky doll to practice some nursing positions on (see photo). Brandon really took a liking to her. Ours was the one of the left - doesn't she look like me? The instructor taught us a good position for women who have just had c-sections, which I'm sure will be very helpful. We were told that it is important that we talk to our OB and request that I see Sunny as soon as possible after the birth so we can start breastfeeding. According to her, the longer you wait the harder it is to get started. I like that she told us that if we really want breastfeeding to be successful it can be. It may take time and hard work, but with help and guidance it can be accomplished. AND that if you do it right, breastfeeding should not hurt. Ever. Not even in the beginning. Nice to know. We'll get a list of names of lactation specialists when we're at the hospital and I know of a few boutiques in the area that specialize in breastfeeding. It will be comforting to have support once we get home.

Answers

Where shall I begin? We met with our OB on Thursday who told us that a c-section will be schedule at my 37th week and that my amnio would be scheduled the day before. The nurse tried to schedule it on August 25th, 26th or 27th, but the hospital was all booked up. Drats. I was supposed to get a call on Tuesday with a date, but instead my doctor called me yesterday to say that a date had been confirmed! If all goes well and we find out that Sunny's lungs are developed enough on August 21, she will be delivered on August 22. I won't be quite 37 weeks, but it's pretty close. And she'll be a Leo! She'll be on the cusp, which I like to think means she'll have the best characteristics of a Leo and a Virgo. Don't fight me on this, people. My daughter will be a precious flower, dammit!

Speaking of my precious flower, the OB said that everything looked good with Sunny. Even though I'm only 34 1/2 weeks, my belly measures at 37! No wonder everyone who sees me thinks I'm days away from giving birth. She's huge! I'm huge! My doctor said that even though I've gained a good 30 pounds it looks to be all in my belly. She even said I looked cute - how nice is that?

Indian milking and Water Wheel

On Saturday, Brandon and I met up with his uncle Dan, aunt Gina and cousin, Charlotte. Dan and Gina were in town from Arizona. They were on their way back from a trip up the coast and had stopped for the weekend at an RV park in Malibu. The park looks right over the ocean, it's beautiful. They made us a delicious dinner and Gina treated Brandon and me to an infant massage class. She's a certified instructor and a great teacher. It was really interesting and fun. Massage is supposed to have many benefits for the baby and for the parents. We learned techniques to help improve the baby's digestion and combat gas. Massage will also help relax the baby and calm her if she's colicky. It's also supposed to relax the parent and aid in the bonding process. All I know is that the babies in the video Gina showed us looked super happy and I would most certainly be content to be massaged everyday. Ahem, Brandon.

LA Shower

A few weeks ago my lovely and amazing sister-in-law, Jen, threw me a baby shower here in LA. It was a ton of fun and I felt very loved. Laura and Tiffany, my awesome friends from high school, flew out for the party which made me feel even more loved. And Laura brought her camera. What a pal.

Tiffany created a baby- themed game of Taboo that was genius! Everyone was shocked when I correctly guessed 'papoose' after Molly said 'indigenous infant'. Taboo, take note.


My former boss, Danielle, catered the party. The lemon pizza was seriously delicious.


Jen told a story about a hot dog. We all learned a lot.


Here she is with her son (my adorable nephew) Ronin and Brandon's cousin, Charlotte.


Brandon showed up just in time for me to open the rectal thermometer.


It made him sad. Thank goodness for the Ugly Doll.

More third trimester fun stuff

The bloating and swelling and stretching have begun! My feet are chubby and my fingers look like sausages. The skin on them feels so tight. Although I hate to be without my precious wedding rings, I take them off at night to give my poor, fat finger a rest. That's also the name of my new band - the Poor Fat Fingers. Oh, and I have news - I am now the proud owner of an outie belly button. The skin on my stomach really seems to be testing its limits. It feels so stretched and itchy. Thankfully, my sister-in-law, Jen, suggested I rub Vitamin-E oil on it every morning and night and that's really helped.

It's such a weird feeling to look down at my feet and hands and not recognize them. I also still occasionally catch myself in the mirror when I'm naked am shocked at how large my belly is. It's huge and bizarre and I love it. I have a little booter in there! MY little booter! Makes all the bloating and swelling and stretching worth it. Grow, little booter! Develop those lungs!

Stating the obvious

Whenever I eat a pickle, which I am doing right now, I feel like a cliche. I had some ice cream earlier and a meltdown at Target this afternoon. Am I pregnant or what?

All Hail Caesar!

We had an appointment with Dr. Silverman today and now we have an answer - Sunny will be delivered via c-section. My placenta moved a little, but it's still right on my cervix. It would be too dangerous for me to go into labor so a c-section will be scheduled. We'll know the exact date within the next couple weeks, but it will happen when I'm between 36 and 37 1/2 weeks which will be between August 18 and August 27. The day before the scheduled date I'll have an amniocentesis to check the development of Sunny's lungs. If they're good, we'll go ahead with the delivery the next day. If not, we'll wait a couple days. I've been preparing myself for this, so I'm doing okay. It's just nice to finally know.

On a happier note, Sunny is looking fabulous! She's five and a half pounds already! No wonder everyone who sees me thinks I'm ready to pop. I got myself a big baby! I saw her head on the ultrasound and commented to the technician that it looked big. She said that she usually doesn't say anything, but yes, her head is big. That's my girl! She had her hands up in front of her face as usual, but we were able to see her big cheeks. I can't wait to get my hands on those sweet cheeks!

Pregzilla

I've calmed down a bit. I don't feel as overwhelmed and I'm not nearly as angry as I was. I'm not sure what was going on, but Brandon has cleverly coined that particular side of me as 'Pregzilla'. It's pretty accurate, too. I felt overly deserving of people's respect because I'm pregnant dammit! I'm huge and uncomfortable and I'm carrying a child! I must say, though, that I think I was pretty good about not getting pissed off at people I know. My anger was pretty much directed towards strangers and gym owners. And the occasional husband. Sorry, honey.

Here's a nice example: the other day at lunch I went to Babies R Us and walked around a bit because that's what you do when you're pregnant. I then went to Costco, which is right next door, to buy fruit because I love fruit and it's so freaking cheap there. When I was loading said fruit into the trunk of my car I noticed that two cars that were parked in the 'Stork Parking' in front of Babies R Us were being driven by people who were definitely not pregnant. Oh, was I livid. I actually drove my car over to where a couple was getting into their car, rolled down the window and said to the lady "Because you parked here, I couldn't." But before I could even get the whole sentence out the woman flicked her wrist at me and said something like "Ayyye". Rude. Then I turned to the very confused looking man getting into the driver's seat and yelled "I'm pregnant!" Then there was nothing left to do but drive away and apologize to my unborn daughter for being so insane.

But, like I said, I'm better. I can't say that I'm completely sane because, let's be honest, I never will be. But I'm better. I think. I don't know, you might still want to be super extra nice to me just in case. Hey, I'm just looking out for you.

A Shower Teaser

An honest vent

I've been feeling stressed and agitated and anxious and just not like myself the passed week or so. I dread going to work and I get mad at people pretty easily especially when I don't feel heard or respected. I get worked up and overreact over the littlest things. I cry. Don't I sound fun to be around? My books say that my moods should be stable and I should feel emotionally better than I did earlier on in my pregnancy, but I feel the opposite. I was fine before and now I'm a little out of sorts. I'm happy with my life and my job and I am beyond excited to meet Sunny and yet I am completely overwhelmed and nervous and scared. Am I going to need a c-section? If so, is everything going to go okay? Is Sunny healthy? Am I going to be able to get everything done before she gets here? Do I have everything I need for her? Will I be a good mom? Will I be able to take care of Sunny on my own once Brandon goes back to work? Where should we put the kitty litter box? When am I going to have time to buy more mochi ice cream?

I know I need to chill because I had a small panic attack at work today due to my anger towards a certain evil gym owner. It was then that I realized that my body can't take all of this stress right now. I need to relax and be confident that everything will work out because, as my mom says, it always does. I have to let things go and move on. I need to realize that all I can do is my best. I need to go to bed.

Kiki and Deb

I only found out days after the fact that my aunt Kiki (my mom's sister) and sister-in-law Deb (my brother Dan's wife) were the ones who threw me my shower in Syracuse! I really can't thank them enough. They are both such wonderful people who have been there for me whenever I need them. I am so overcome with gratitude. It was so thoughtful and generous of them to plan such a fun party. And it was fun even though I was only a head on a computer screen. I was animated, though! And interactive!

I also go to crappy websites

Okay, I admit it - I go Perez Hilton's website at least once a day. Now that I'm pregnant and have baby on the brain I also go to the Celebrity Baby Blog and that's where I found this photo:



















So, what you're trying to tell me is that Joey Lawrence is straight, married to a woman and the father of a little girl. Interesting.

Baby Update

Our first childbirth class was on Sunday. It was good, not awesome, but good. There were lots of diagrams of the cross-section of a pregnant woman, which was interesting to see and we learned some relaxation techniques. The instructor seems nice and very knowledgeable, though I can't tell you how many times she said "...but you'll learn about that next week" or "...but I'll go into that more in our fourth class." Also, the class ended 45 minutes early without explanation, but it wasn't such a bad thing. The material was interesting, but I couldn't imagine sitting there much longer. Brandon and I felt like we were in 7th grade again - sweet! We get out of class early!

We had another great doctor's appointment this morning. Our OB is happy with Sunny's growth and her heartbeat is nice and strong. She is in a head down position, which is ideal if I'm able to give birth vaginally. I haven't gotten on the scale since my last appointment, so I was interested to see how much weight I've gained. It was pretty much exactly what I thought it would be, so I was happy. I eat well and take care of myself, so I wasn't worried. I could certainly stand to work out more, but it's so freaking hot out and I get out of breath easily these days and I'm so busy at work and at home I'm busy getting everything ready for the baby and I'm tired all the time and and and...

July 2008

I've looked better, but how cute is my mom?

My large 30 week body

Ah, the third trimester. People warned me about it, but I didn't listen. Well, I kind of listened, but I try to focus on the positive things people tell me and not the negative ones. I know things will be different when the baby comes and my life is going to change and I'll be getting significantly less sleep, thanks. Anyway, my belly is no longer small - it's gigantic and it's going to keep getting bigger. According to my baby book, for the next month or so Sunny is going to be gaining a half pound a week and I'll be gaining a pound a week. The increased weight of my little girl has caused my body to take on some lovely third trimester characteristics. Some aren't so lovely, others are kind of amusing. I've succumbed to the pregnant lady waddle. I used to try to walk normally, now I could care less. This is especially true when I have to pee and am on the way to the bathroom. I get toilet tunnel vision I have to go so bad. I'm super thirsty all day long, but I can go for hours without getting hungry. I'll eat half a sandwich and be uncomfortably full for a good two hours. Getting up from a seated position has become a challenge. The other night when we were out to dinner a man from the table next to me offered his hand for support and I took it. Thank you, kind sir. I've gotten a lot better at accepting and asking for help. I admit it - I'm not as agile as I used to be, but I'm carrying a precious load! And that's what we've decided to name Sunny...Precious Load. Isn't it beautiful?

I watch crappy television

The other day Brandon and I were sitting in the family room trying to get cool (right now it's the only room in the house with air conditioning). He was reading and I was watching television. I am slightly ashamed to say that Tori and Dean, that show on the Oxygen channel about Tori Spelling and her husband, was on. Tori, who looked to be about five months pregnant, and Dean were at her doctor's office to find out the sex of their unborn baby. I was looking down at something when I heard Brandon say "Dr. Silverman!" I looked up thinking that Brandon meant to say "That guy looks like our fetal doctor, Dr. Silverman" or "That guy does what our fetal doctor does". But, no. It was our Dr. Silverman doing an ultrasound on Tori Spelling. Ha!

I asked my friend at work about it the next day who also saw Dr. Silverman when she was pregnant and she wasn't surprised at all. She said that he's the best fetal doctor in LA and maybe the country. Who knew?

The mom has landed

My mom has come to see me! It's so wonderful to have her here. She arrived yesterday and we have been busy ever since. She's so unbelievably good to Sunny and me. She bought Sunny some cute clothes yesterday and today we picked out fabric for the quilt she's going to make her. She's helping me with my nesting, too. She has lots of great ideas for our new place. We have some storage problems so tomorrow we're heading to Ikea - land of storage solutions. Right now she's adding a maternity panel to my favorite shorts that used to belong to Brandon. It will be so nice to be able to wear a pair of shorts! Skirts are nice and good for work, but shorts are my weekend staple and I miss them. But enough about shorts. My mom is here and I love it and I'll be sad when she leaves, but she'll be back when Sunny is born to help us even more. Not sure how I can express how much I love and appreciate her, but I have an idea...

Tele-shower

Thank goodness my mom had the good sense to wait until Thursday to tell me that a surprise baby shower had been planned for me in Syracuse. I'm not sure how I would've handled the news if she had told me on Monday or Tuesday. I was sad that I couldn't be there for it and I touched that people cared so much, which made me even sadder. The good news is that I could still kind of be there. My computer-savvy brother, Dan, helped me set up a webcam on my computer so I was able watch and interact with everyone at the shower this morning. I was a little nervous. I thought it might be awkward and a uncomfortable, but it wasn't. I was sad that I couldn't jump through the computer screen and be there, but it was cool to be able to see everyone and thank them for their generous gifts.

I'm interested in seeing any photos that I'm in - Mom? Brittney? I really hope it looks very Max Headroom.

Syracuse 2006

Sweet memories of the New York State fair...and my waist...

Grounded

I have been looking forward to my trip home to Syracuse for months. My mom bought me the ticket as my birthday present. It was planned so perfectly - Brandon would go to Missouri to see his family the same week. I was to leave this Friday, right after the madness of June had ended and right before I was too far along to fly. I always look forward to going home, but this trip was different. It would be the last time in a long time I would go home alone. I would have my mom all to myself. I miss her so much. And I had so much planned: I couldn't wait to pick out fabric for Sunny's quilt. My brother and his family would be there that first weekend, I would see my friend Brittney, go to Wegmans at least four times, eat a coffee sundae at Friendly's, eat a coney, watch the 4th of July parade in Manlius, swim in my mom's pool and just relax.

Then Sunday happened. I was surfing around the internet looking for more information about my placenta previa when there it was: women with placenta previa should not fly on airplanes. I was shocked. It was everywhere I looked, even my pregnancy book. I pretty much lost it instantly. I knew what my doctor would say and when I spoke to her and the next morning she said it: "no airplanes". She wants me on the ground at all times, close to a hospital. She said that it would be extremely dangerous if I started to bleed on the plane because no one would be able to help me. Okay, yes that made sense, but I was still confused and angry. Why did I have to find this out in the internet? Why didn't she tell me as soon as she diagnosed me? The way she explained it (and Brandon was there, so he will back me up on this) was that this condition would only be an issue when I was much closer to my due date. I like my OB and I appreciate her concern, but I'm still kind of pissed off.

So, my trip has been canceled and to say that I am devastated would be the understatement of the year. I didn't go to work yesterday, instead I stayed at home and cried a lot. Today I managed to go to work and only cried twice, so I think I'm coming to terms with it all. I realized something pretty profound last night that's been getting me through: shit happens. This is no one's fault. Maybe the angels are watching over me protecting Sunny and me from danger. Maybe there is a reason this happened. I sure hope so because right now it sucks. But I know it could be a hell of a lot worse. And I do have a consolation prize: my mom has decided that since I can't come to her, she will come to me. This means that Brandon can go to Missouri to see his family and I won't be alone missing him and feeling sorry for myself. AND this means that I get to see my mommy, which is all I really wanted anyway. And I'm hoping she brings coneys. And split top hot dog buns. And Hoffman's mustard. What? I'm hungry.

A Virgo? A Leo?

Brandon and I had our monthly OB appointment this past Thursday. The good news is that Sunny is looking great! My doctor was happy with her size. It was fun to see how big she's gotten. Right now she's in a "jack knife" position with her head down. Her feet and hands are in the same area at times, so that's why I feel so much activity in that one spot.

The not so good news is that I still have placenta previa. Though my placenta has moved a little bit, it's still covering my cervix and my doctor doesn't think it's going to move enough for me to give birth vaginally. Blarg. I have an appointment with our fetal doctor in five weeks (when I'm 32 weeks) to see exactly where the placenta is. If he tells us that it's moved and is no longer covering the cervix, then hurray! Vaginal birth! If he tells us that it hasn't moved, the next step would then be to have an amniocentesis at the hospital at 35 weeks to determine if Sunny's lungs have developed enough for her to be okay outside the womb. If her lungs look good, I will have a c-section the following day. If not, we will wait a bit. This would all be for good reason - if I still have placenta previa that late in my pregnancy, it would be extremely dangerous for me to go into labor and give birth vaginally. Both Sunny and I would be in danger of hemorrhaging if the cervix opens at all.

I was upset for a couple days after learning all of this, but for all we know my placenta will move and a c-section won't be necessary. And if it is necessary, then I will accept as what's best for Sunny. I am already so in love with her and I will do anything and everything to keep her safe. In the wise words of my OB: "we don't want to dick around."

I'm melting

So much to say, but so little stamina to say it. It is way too freaking hot out right now. It's 7:30pm and it's over 100 degrees outside. How wrong is that? I've already taken two cold baths in the past four hours. It's ice cream time soon, thank goodness.

I have lots of stories to tell and a baby update, but they will have to wait until it gets cooler out. Back to the air conditioning...

The best photo ever?

I cannot properly express how endlessly happy this photo makes me. I love that one of my favorite people in the world, Derek, is in it with me and I love that it looks staged. We've decided that it looks like one of those photos you can have done at Universal Studios called "See Yourself on the Red Carpet!" I chose a clipboard and credential as props, Derek chose the clipboard and headset prop and we posed. I'm pretending to look really professional and Derek just looks really, really happy to be there. In reality, we are working - I'm talking to someone on the other side of Warren and Annette, Derek is stopping the flow of people from crossing between them and the photographers. Neither of us had any idea the photo was being taken until Derek found it the next day. Oh, how I love you, Getty photographer.