Grounded

I have been looking forward to my trip home to Syracuse for months. My mom bought me the ticket as my birthday present. It was planned so perfectly - Brandon would go to Missouri to see his family the same week. I was to leave this Friday, right after the madness of June had ended and right before I was too far along to fly. I always look forward to going home, but this trip was different. It would be the last time in a long time I would go home alone. I would have my mom all to myself. I miss her so much. And I had so much planned: I couldn't wait to pick out fabric for Sunny's quilt. My brother and his family would be there that first weekend, I would see my friend Brittney, go to Wegmans at least four times, eat a coffee sundae at Friendly's, eat a coney, watch the 4th of July parade in Manlius, swim in my mom's pool and just relax.

Then Sunday happened. I was surfing around the internet looking for more information about my placenta previa when there it was: women with placenta previa should not fly on airplanes. I was shocked. It was everywhere I looked, even my pregnancy book. I pretty much lost it instantly. I knew what my doctor would say and when I spoke to her and the next morning she said it: "no airplanes". She wants me on the ground at all times, close to a hospital. She said that it would be extremely dangerous if I started to bleed on the plane because no one would be able to help me. Okay, yes that made sense, but I was still confused and angry. Why did I have to find this out in the internet? Why didn't she tell me as soon as she diagnosed me? The way she explained it (and Brandon was there, so he will back me up on this) was that this condition would only be an issue when I was much closer to my due date. I like my OB and I appreciate her concern, but I'm still kind of pissed off.

So, my trip has been canceled and to say that I am devastated would be the understatement of the year. I didn't go to work yesterday, instead I stayed at home and cried a lot. Today I managed to go to work and only cried twice, so I think I'm coming to terms with it all. I realized something pretty profound last night that's been getting me through: shit happens. This is no one's fault. Maybe the angels are watching over me protecting Sunny and me from danger. Maybe there is a reason this happened. I sure hope so because right now it sucks. But I know it could be a hell of a lot worse. And I do have a consolation prize: my mom has decided that since I can't come to her, she will come to me. This means that Brandon can go to Missouri to see his family and I won't be alone missing him and feeling sorry for myself. AND this means that I get to see my mommy, which is all I really wanted anyway. And I'm hoping she brings coneys. And split top hot dog buns. And Hoffman's mustard. What? I'm hungry.